Tuesday, May 31, 2011

More


Bless'ed be the fortunate

Garnering grains of gold

That precious ilk

Sowing rows of silk

Into their daily fold -

I their woeful counterpart

Languor in night's sweaty balm

Squander a smile

For the waxy orchid

Above the water calm


Turpentine Spirits

Of blazing faith

Take me as kin to your door

So i can forget

All the time I have spent

Trying

Always

For

More.

Monday, May 23, 2011

One Sentence Stories 2...


I wonder, if we could time travel..how many of us would go back and educate the heart first?

I tried to talk to my younger me, but she wasn't having it.

1,2,3,4, rap lightly with caution at Love's door.

If you think too much about your happiness you can detour its course.

Listen, learn, think, A C T.

No, it isn't easy but that's what makes it great.

I'm so sorry for believing you were ever more than what you clearly defined.

I've dusted off your flaws and discover i still like you.

If I'm your soul achievement, i worry about your future.

A license is required to teach, drive, hunt and fish but not to parent.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Birdie


Bird on a wire
Watching all unfold
Flying home with secrets
Never told

What good does airing
Everything
Do?

But unburden a brain
For a day or two

Bird on a wire
Voyeur and friend
Unnamed witness
To the bitter end

Bird on a wire
How do you sleep?
With news on your tongue
You cannot speak?

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Motherless Daughters








We are the motherless daughters

We’re scattered across the globe

We wear the cloak

Like an itchy coat

An attire we can't disrobe.


We are the motherless daughters

Traveling territory unknown

Forever searching within our loss

At another taste of home.


We are the motherless daughters

Missing more than words can say

The woman who gave us more than life

And took more than that away..


We are the motherless daughters

Left with memories, trinkets, advice,

Trying to make that be enough

Knowing it won’t suffice.


We are the motherless daughters

A tribe of another tongue

An anonymous bond throughout the land

The loss that binds you as one.


We are the motherless daughters

Owners of a tender heart

Filling our schedule on Mother’s day

Battling the urge to fall apart.


We are the motherless daughters

Lacking but lucky everyday

Hoping she'd be proud of the woman

The mirror puts on display.


We are the motherless daughters.


Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Fruit Stand


You be careful what questions you let form on that tongue. The answers may not be wrapped in a pretty pink bow laid at your feet. Sometimes truth is like tripping into a bear trap camouflaged in the woods- it can break bones. One can walk away with that new grisly knowledge you just had to have and remain intact. Courage can take many blows and still encompass a beating heart.

Even the prettiest truths have their angles.

No, no.... I aint saying that! There's always good just like there's always bad and everything else between. Now just take a look at your face in the mirror. What you housing in there? When you gonna give that thing inside you a pasture to roam free in? Let it find its own way? No, you don't own it and it doesn't own you if you don't let it. Just cuz the darkness gets in doesn't mean it owns the title on your house. That sly lodger is paying by the day, honey. You weren't born with that sadness in you. You can evict him anytime you really want to.

It's o.k. you cry. Tears are a good way of draining out all that's draining you. Just think if we couldn't let out our tears! If we just digested them, my god.... it would sure be easy to predict the suicides huh? They'd all be rolling down the street like snowballs taking everything out with them, filled up with a flood of grief ready to pop any moment.

No, i aint making light. I just think it's real good we can get rid of our grief naturally - expel it so it doesn't sit in us adding up. Anything added up can get out of hand.

I agree, it aint fair. But...what is? Fair aint a word that should pertain to life. There's what is and aint and what we can do and what we can't. Trouble comes i think from people who stop believing in what they can do or say or change. What's really bad is indifference. When we see events and people generally and lump a ho-hum easy answer on it and turn on our t.v.'s.

O.k. I'm sorry - Maybe you don't watch much t.v., but that's not the point. We look away, we disregard what we don't think effects us and carry on like we have no stake in it. But, we're all key players in the war against ourselves, everyday. We create what we loathe, we complain when we're unhappy, and we sit back waiting for the world to change us instead of the other way around. We don't participate in our own betterment.

No, not just you honey, everyone. No one is exempt. I aint saying shame on you for not being Mother Theresa, but just think...... If we could all learn to fix ourselves first. If we could learn to look in that mirror and evict the darkness, learn to listen to the ugly answers and remain intact. If we could learn to be resolute in not just surviving but living - there is a big difference. When that happens, anything is possible, but not until it does. How in the world can we take on what's outside of us with any clarity when we can't deal with what's not?

You take a strong bite of that peach honey. It will make ya feel better. A warm, Georgia peach sun soaked right off the tree can't be beat. What's that? oh o.k. then. Well, that comes to $4.99 and you make sure to hold the bottom of that bag or all those peaches might be splat at your feet before you get home! I sure will honey, no problem. You come by and see me again, ya hear?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Flypaper


I caught your moonbeam in my flypaper and wanted to return it - well, i didn't want to but one needs all the light they can in this dark place. I knew it belonged to you because the light you bring into a room is like a signature. What you radiate stains everything around.

I rallied with the Wiliams Duo in Wimbledon and marveled at their chiseled frames as they raced me around the court like a headless chicken. I hadn't seen their talent and skill since Seles and Graf, and their stature and physique was unparalleled. I got a small sniff of the hundreds of thousands of hours they'd dedicated to becoming the very best at what they do. They were kind enough not to ace every serve into the galaxy. I asked appreciatively for a signed ball.

I went black Opal hunting in the dusty, hot rock beds of Nevada. The stale sun scorched my skin and my knuckles were bloody when i finally unearthed the most precious of fire Opal from the dry ground. I couldn't take my eyes off it for days - I turned the gem for hours in my mitts, catching light and peering into brilliant hues of indescribable color. It's searing bright, pure beauty brought tears to my eyes and i had forgotten totally about the 8 band-aids wrapped around my skin.

I stumbled blindly into a thrift store shop to book-scout on a dreary rainy day. The clouds painting their own grim masterpiece across the vast sky. I eyed spines with dull interest until the second to last book on the bottom shelf. Spine cap almost completely torn off, half leather binding beaten and exhausted from wear and age. All cover lettering faded and illegible. The frail title page was foxed and stained with short tears at the edges - it read, "Herbal remedies used in South East Asia" The book's date was faint but i discerned 1845. The rear endpaper held the text of this copy being a Limited/Numbered Edition, this being #42 out of 150 copies in the world. I brought my sad book to the register and paid $2.50 and then walked home.

There were 4 copies available for sale online. The least expensive starting at $2,500. I quickly deduced this was the best $2 I had ever spent.

These odd things and more have happened to me in my quiet life. I try hard not to think about it all too much, but when i do i smile feeling lucky and blessed in some fashion.

I look around to see what evidence i have of these events. My signed Tennis ball was discovered by my cat and quickly made a pin cushion for claws of unforgiving nature. Fuzzy and disheveled, any signatures by top athletes of the world can't even be deciphered. The precious Opal caught a good friend's eye one day and with utmost love and devotion was gifted to them. The leather bound book was sold. The money spent - I can't even recall on what.

The flypaper however still remains. The one that caught your moonbeam I had to return. It's basic use expired with age, but it's visual reminder worth more than all my adventures combined.

Monday, April 25, 2011

That Girl


I wish i could be That girl. You know, the one who can just be happy that you're kinder now. The one that can learn how to see you brand new. That girl with the huge heart and mind that isn't in denial but completely beyond being angry, bothered or aggravated and needing something from you to make her feel better.

These words are all negatives and somehow less. I don't want to feel or mean less. I want to be That Girl. And not just the fictional girl in movies and books that works through their stuff in 10 seconds/pages and comes out better - because i believe someone relative to that can exist non-fictionally. That Girl.

I've met shades of her in women I've known in my life. But never the complete package deal. What is that you ask? well, she is the girl who is smart enough to acknowledge, look at deeply and feel what they do and then approach their subject with no holds barred. AND, in the end, gain confidence, understanding and perhaps respect for said subject enough to be on good terms in the future with all dirty laundry aired and folded in some consenting pile. THAT is the girl. In her own courage she has unbeknown-st to her gained utmost respect and a better understanding of the world in general and specific. She exists around the globe everywhere, she does and i feel her.

She is a conqueror. A woman who doesn't say, "I've been hurt" with a period but a comma -

She intends to change what she can in her own life and others for the greater good. That Girl.

She has lived with the world's appraisal of her sex and possibilities with a sly smile and always raises her hand first before challenging any rule, but she always raises her hand.

She is my hero. Perhaps with a bit more understanding and time i can learn to be my own?